Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Fifth life


I have been hit with feelings of inadequacy. Each time stronger than the last. I wish someone could calm my nerves and remind me that I am only twenty one. You are only twenty one. It certainly sounds more reassuring coming from the lips of another person. Someone who is not constantly churning self-critiques in his or her mind. Maybe this is what they call a fifth life crisis: an overwhelming realization of incompetence, along the very much dreaded what-have-I-been-doing-all-along and what-do-I-do-next questions. I have never felt like an unaccomplished designer as strongly as I do now, but I suppose this would be the time seeing as I am in the awkward in-between stage of 'counting down the months to oh-so-exciting graduation' and 'BAM–reality'. There is a lot that I have yet to learn. I have always known that, but somehow the phrase a lot has taken on a new meaning in the past two weeks and now encapsulates every single discipline imaginable. Every theory studied or written. And, let's not forget, every single thing that I suck at.

My brain hurts. I need a good sleep, a good meal, and a good day off.


  1. Aw Teresa, don't beat yourself up. I've said this before but I'll say it again, you inspire me! Man, y'all are brave facing 4th year with grad show and all. I copped out of this reality with the semester away that pushed me back a year.

    I was actually just thinking about how rough 2nd year was for you, with the series of unfortunate events. It may had been an awful time but it didn't seem like that let you down from your potential. Gee, internship at Chatelaine? Totally awesome.

    You always manage to pick yourself up at the end of the day. I believe in youuu! Best of luck, my friend. Rest well!

  2. I went through a similar cycle. I was scared too. On graduation and the 'big bad world'. But the thing is you will never learn enough. So comfort yourself knowing you have tried and be glad that you have reached this far. Looking back you will find your worries unfounded.

    And yes you should take a day off.

  3. Feeling like this is perfectly normal. Reading success stories from the likes of Oprah and Steve Jobs, life is just a journey with extreme highs and extreme lows. Remember to always be positive and use the downs and the negative emotions to fuel yourself into bettering yourself!


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